I wish..

I only wish right now, you see happiness in that guy. All the best, I only hope that there are some memories that you'll treasure between us.

Take care, my friend.

It's so difficult..

I'm trying so hard, to be strong, to act tough and to show that I care and to let you know how much I miss you..

But I can't.. because you walked away from me.

You seem fine, you seem happy. You said you are lonely, but you have guys surrounding you like bees. I don't want to be just any bee that flies around you. I just want to be with the queen.

You don't seem to miss me, you don't seem like you ever wanted me back. It's ok,I'll be stronger and better than before.

But I do miss you, every moment, every day.

Memories, which reminds me to be a better person..

I've never realized how much I've done towards her. I've never realized how much she means to me in my life. I've never realized.. I'm such a fool.

I remember, as though it was just yesterday. How we met, how I first asked her out for our very first movie together, how we had a very shy moment, how I fetched her in my Fly.FM car.

I remembered, her smile, the way she smelt and her beautiful eyes on our first date. I remembered all these because she means that much to me. She really meant a lot to me.

The best thing that happened in my life, was having her. When she looked into my eyes, when I asked her to be mine. How her tears fall down her cheeks, how I remembered I had to pull off a prank for her not to find out.

I remembered how she always catches my surprises, I remembered how she teared on her birthday with the video I made for her. I remembered how I carried her to the field nearby, with candles half lit but couldn't help it but to feel her happiness with me.

How time flies.. I've done many wrongdoings, pushing her away day by day. Not realizing that till the day she  chose a different  path with me, I was heart broken.

I'm always a hopeless romantic, never seem to see things her way but only to see it mine. I've always been telling myself I'm such a great terrible boyfriend. I've been blinded by my ego, and my need to seek for more attention.

Kelvin, let me tell you.

You, are a fool. You, knew your mistakes but yet you still did it. You, of all person knows she's the one but you chose to make her sad every time.

I'll take many slaps for this. I'll take in anything, even a bullet through my heart. If only she knew that she's the world to me.

My previous relationship falls apart, almost near similarity as how it falls apart now. No, she did not cheat on me but only to lie for my own sake. She knew I'm such a jealous boyfriend, someone who is hot tempered only to find her going out with some guys. She understood me so well, how could I not see that? I'm such a fool, I really am.

I know now nothing will be able to change, her love for me or neither will she ever looked at me the same again. To only realized after a few days, she left the only one thing that brought us both together when she moved out.

I now know, as there are no hope for us to ever hold hands, or even hold each other on our bed telling each other how our love is. If only she knew. If only she knew..

My dear, if one day you come across this post, I'm here for you. With my arms open, telling myself I'm willing to prove to you what I once promised you. I'm still working hard for it, and also I'll prove you all wrong that when you said you don't see a future in us. 

You seem so happy now, the way things are. But with me here, every single moment I've been always thinking about you. Even in my dreams..I only wish not to ever wake up because my dream was about us going through every single hardship together.

I wish you happiness, to find someone whom will love you more than I do. But I'll know it myself, that only I will love you like no other guys do.

You've been my light in the dark, you've been someone who was there for me. I do not understand sometimes.. we are only humans.. we will make mistakes and we'll learn from it..

I thought, we will pull through together, as a team, as a couple, as the only two person in our world.. through our toughest time and through our most upsetting moments.

Please heed to my call, for I only wish for you to give our relationship another try. If I failed to do so, you have every respect and rights from me to walk away from me. I wasn't prepare for this. I didn't expect you to leave so sudden.

Give me a chance to prove myself. Give me a chance to be that person whom you told me from the first time, "the reason why I chose you among all the others was because I see something in you, that you'll succeed".

I WILL! And I'll never back down. I promise you this.

Love, can sometimes test us on how much we are willing to make a difference.

Ee Jia Jing, my dear. I'm your xiao pang zhi. I'm your Imba. I'm your Dear. I'm yours.

My heart aches and cried for many days. Even if I had to put a smile on my face, it is extremely difficult.

My cries and my pleads here, might not carry any weight, might not change the slightest thought in your mind, but only for you to understand that in your life, there is this man who is named Kelvin Imba Ng.. the guy who loves you more than his world.

And right now.. I'm holding the shirt you wore to sleep, to put it on my eyes, because I knew you once cared for me, and I somehow feel deep inside you still do. 

I love you Ee Jia Jing. I'll never change that. I'll never. Please, bring back my smile to my life for nothing will bring that smile you gave me before.....

A Wakeup Call

It's been a while since I last blogged.

I think I've lost my favorite fan due to the laziness I've cultivated. Guess it's time to change.

This post is going to be about the past few months, how I've changed and right now, I need to change back again.

So many times, we been through tough times. So many times, we have our differences and we made many huge conflicts between us. Then again, we still stood together and make the best out of it.

I came to realize that I've became worst than before, a more compulsive and protective boyfriend.

Then again sometimes if you look at it, when a boyfriend gets protective, only reason was he was afraid of losing her. After all, she's a real catch. No doubt on that. Everywhere she goes, I don't know if she knew or not, but she most definitely catch many attention. She normally will not acknowledge them, and choose that they are all just merely wanting to be friends. That was what I did too, at the beginning of our friendship before it blossomed into a beautiful relationship.

I really don't want to be a jackass and a guy who makes his girlfriend upset over a small matter. Bear with me, because it was difficult for me to change overnight or over 6-7months. Habit dies hard, sometimes it just hurts to know it keeps coming back. *not my past but my compulsive personality*

My girlfie first wrote before, that she found someone who wanted to be with her just because of love, not to abuse or dominate her. I began with just of love, then came the domination and abuse. Not physical abuse, but mentally.

I've always come to my senses, only noticing how upset she became and I'll always try my best to make her smile then. Out of 10 times, I would be proud to say I manage to make her smile for about 8 times. Not bad for a "garang" boyfie. But then again, I knew it was wrong, whether for it to be her fault or mine. A guy shall always bear most responsibilities when it comes to matters that concerns us both.

Honestly, I don't know how many times I've said this, but I'm crazily in love with her and I love her whole heartily. She means so much to me, that every single second I close my eyes, I feel her love with me. I am a seriously lucky guy who actually manage to win her heart. Amazing.

I'm trying, and I'm always trying my dear. I've always asked for many chances to prove to you, I'm still doing it to prove to you and to us. Relationships takes 2 to make it work. I would say that sometimes it would be nice that both play a role to make each other happy. Either based on their needs or personality.

Sometimes, all it takes is a few seconds to type it out, "I love you" than to make someone upset. Sometimes it takes a few seconds, to think there isn't a point writing it because of what's within the chemistry between both lovers. Perhaps, I need to change my mentality on certain things. Be more mature, and wake up. The more I screw things up, the more likely this relationship wouldn't work.

I see her with my future in it. I promise you that because no other girl loves me as how she does.


I'm learning, growing and learning to be understanding and also pessimistic. :P

Very true.

I'm a big fool, and I'll definitely do this more often.




Well, if you are reading my dear, I love you with all my heart, I can't wait to see you and give you an awesome IMBA hug. <3 LOVE YOU~

How Lucky Can I be?

In the past years, after my previous relationship, I've been through a lot of various "tryouts" with girls who made my life clearer than before. I came to realize that love is just not that simple. It's not just " I love you and you love me". It's more than just that.

It requires a lot of compromising. It takes two to tango, it's not easy to tango, it's not easy to be perfect, but practice makes perfect. There's so much I've learnt in this relationship with my beloved Ee JiaJing and I can't thank her enough because she make me complete. 

I lub lub you! *snuggle snuggle*

You are my magnet. My lips are always on your lips or cheeks. *ahhhhhh Piak..Stucked* :P

You always make me so cute. 

How adorable are we? Damn ADORABLE I TELL YOU!

Things have gotten much better as it is not as bad as before, we did more comprising and a lot of understanding each other. She's really an ideal girlfriend. I don't know what I can do without her. You are the pillar of my life now dear, and you make me who I am today. I'll always keep pushing myself further and with your support, I'll be heading even higher. 

Isn't she a beauty? Look at those beautiful eyes, and that gorgeous smile.

There isn't a day I can stop thinking about her, even in my sleep I see her. I think I'm crazily in love, and I can't help myself from loving her, hugging her and cuddling with her. 

And we're now 3 months and counting!

The best part was that she wrote a 100 reasons why she love me! And dear, I can give you more than just a 100 reasons, because you are my everything! 

I knew I loved you when I realized that there was no one else I would rather laugh, cry and make memories with.You’re the one reason I wake up in the morning, you’re the one reason I find a way to smile, you’re the one person that can change everything around when it is going bad. Your eyes, your smile, your everything, your laugh, your look in your eyes when you talk to me. It’s just everything about you that makes me want you even more. I love you so deeply,I love you so much, I love the sound of your voice and the way that we touch, I love your warm smile and your kind thoughtful ways and the joy that you bring to my life everyday, I love you today as I have from the start and I'll love you forever with all of my heart.

Dear, there are so many ways to say "I love you", but not enough words in the world to say how much.I never thought I would meet someone like you. Until I met your eyes, my heart jumped. 

Being in love isn't about picturing yourself with one person for the rest of your life. It is about not being able to picture yourself without that person for one day

Before I met you I never knew what it was like to smile for no reason. Some people thinks I'm crazy. Yeah, I think I am. Crazily in love. I love you! 

 

I think, I can say I'm a celebrity! Jk.

It's been a few great months and I think I'm liking it. I attended 3 huge major events and this is also because of my beautiful girlfie who managed to win/grab all these exclusive passes/tickets.

I've never really attended any of these major events before, and I never really knew how it was like. Being there for the first time and of course, with my beloved Jiajing was truly something I wouldn't forget. Moments like these are just gonna be part of my life.

So here's the first event I attended. It was Hennessy Artistry 2011 that was held at MIECC and how did I manage to get these tickets? All thanks to my girlfie and her bestie who got these tickets from a famous local blogger, Tim Chew ( I think that's how you spell his name ).

I didn't really took much pictures that night but I did manage to snap one with my girlfie before we went into the event hall.

She's really beautiful

That night, it was really happening. I met loads of my friends, high school friends, college mates, working colleagues and my boss was even there. It was free flow of VSOP for the night, so I pampered myself with a couple too many drinks and got myself a little too tipsy. Fortunately I was still sober although I have not drink for a long time. For me, it was 8/10. The performance and entertainment was great, people there too were happening. Oh, there was one funny moment. When I arrived at the entrance, the bouncer ( who was a Malay ) stopped me and so I told him that I'm looking for the entrance ( in Bahasa Melayu, of course ). He suddenly looked serious and he asked me if I was a Malay.

I knew I have this really tanned skin so I get this alot. So I spoke to my girlfie in Chinese where she was laughing her ass off when this occurred but the bouncer still insisted on me giving him my identification card. And so I did. He then apologize and allowed me to enter. Just to share with you peeps. 

2nd event, Step Inside The Johnnie Walker Black Circuit Brazil.

For this event, I won the tickets my own, and of course with the help of my great friend, Wae Lern. And so I gotten myself 4 exclusive passes to attend this event and I invited my love, her bestie and one of my close working buddies, Lim Wei Sin. 

Here are some pictures to begin with.

Picture Perfect

She's a Beauty

Nadia Heng? Who's that? I don't know either!

And so, we begun our Johnnie Walker experience with the introduction of their liquor, Black Labels, Gold Labels and some new Label which I couldn't recall. After that, we entertained ourselves with their autosnap cameras and also some weird video that has our facebook pictures in it. We also played some metal rod game which lights up if we touch it. Wei Sin and I came across this drink and it taste seriously a.w.e.s.o.m.e.

It is called, For Romeo. Suits me ;) 

After that, we went and find ourselves a table and thanks to this lady, Nadia Heng who did not make it or couldn't find her table, we vacant ourselves on her table! Each table has a bottle of Black Label and these Black Labels aren't like those we drink from the clubs. These liquor have really good grades and it tastes really different compared to those we drink from clubs. 

We drank whole night long, danced and it was fun. It was just the 4 of us but 4's a crowd isn't it? I got a little too tipsy and caused some scene. Thanks to my girlfriend who took great care of me. Or I think she did. Lol.

And finally, we attended a Guinness Launching last Tuesday on the 29th November 2011. Thanks to my girlfriend who managed to be the lucky winners, I get to enjoy my truly first fine dining!

-I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as one of our lucky winners to attend the launch of the Merry GUINNESS on Tuesday, 29^th November 2011 at Double Hilton! You will be among the first few people in Malaysia to attend this exclusive launch and to taste the special GUINNESS-infused Christmas dishes created by MasterChef Adam Liaw especially for our Merry GUINNESS celebrations.-

There's plenty of pictures of the food, it's all on my girlfriend's page, you can check it out at her page. http://www.facebook.com/jiajing.ee 

Most of these food have been mixed with Guinness Stout but personally, I didn't really like some of it but it was a great experience to witness a master chef at work.

She means the world to me.

 

I'm beginning to love these and I really wish to attend more. Can't wait! 

P.s. I love my girlfriend! Sorry for being all soppy but hey, it's me. 

Title of the day, Love again.

Something I would like to share with you, dear.


The struggles make you stronger, the changes make you wiser
& the happiness has a way of taking its sweet time.
Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride.

There's three little words,they were dying to tell each other.No, it wasn't 'I love you', it was 'we belong together'.








When it comes to relationships, people are always so scared of the what-if's till that they forget what-is. They spend so much time thinking, " what if i get hurt? " & " what if it doesn't work out ? " until that they stop thinking about things that are already real. They forget the feeling they get when the person they love walks into the room & the excitement that rushes through them when the phone rings cause it might be the person they are waiting to hear from. Never let the fear of what-if stop you from letting yourself take a chance on love, because what if this is the person you're destined to spend the rest of your life with?

Stop thinking of what could go wrong & think of what could go right.

I love you. You annoy me as much as possible,but I want to spend every little irritating minute with you. I adore you.

There's been a lot of ups and downs, but ultimately, at the end of the day, that's what makes you who you are. We all know how to laugh, we all know how to cry, and we all know how to love. We all know heartbreak, but the world keeps on moving, and we keep moving along with it and everything we expierience makes us realize how beautiful life truly is.

It has been 2 months, you've made me feel alive.You made me feel handsome,intelligent & wanted and no matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to tell you how much that means to me. You mean the world to me, and no matter how much we argue, it'll gradually make things a little better in future, hopefully.



Love you dear, Ee Jiajing.