I think I've lost my favorite fan due to the laziness I've cultivated. Guess it's time to change.
This post is going to be about the past few months, how I've changed and right now, I need to change back again.
So many times, we been through tough times. So many times, we have our differences and we made many huge conflicts between us. Then again, we still stood together and make the best out of it.
I came to realize that I've became worst than before, a more compulsive and protective boyfriend.
Then again sometimes if you look at it, when a boyfriend gets protective, only reason was he was afraid of losing her. After all, she's a real catch. No doubt on that. Everywhere she goes, I don't know if she knew or not, but she most definitely catch many attention. She normally will not acknowledge them, and choose that they are all just merely wanting to be friends. That was what I did too, at the beginning of our friendship before it blossomed into a beautiful relationship.
I really don't want to be a jackass and a guy who makes his girlfriend upset over a small matter. Bear with me, because it was difficult for me to change overnight or over 6-7months. Habit dies hard, sometimes it just hurts to know it keeps coming back. *not my past but my compulsive personality*
My girlfie first wrote before, that she found someone who wanted to be with her just because of love, not to abuse or dominate her. I began with just of love, then came the domination and abuse. Not physical abuse, but mentally.
I've always come to my senses, only noticing how upset she became and I'll always try my best to make her smile then. Out of 10 times, I would be proud to say I manage to make her smile for about 8 times. Not bad for a "garang" boyfie. But then again, I knew it was wrong, whether for it to be her fault or mine. A guy shall always bear most responsibilities when it comes to matters that concerns us both.
Honestly, I don't know how many times I've said this, but I'm crazily in love with her and I love her whole heartily. She means so much to me, that every single second I close my eyes, I feel her love with me. I am a seriously lucky guy who actually manage to win her heart. Amazing.
I'm trying, and I'm always trying my dear. I've always asked for many chances to prove to you, I'm still doing it to prove to you and to us. Relationships takes 2 to make it work. I would say that sometimes it would be nice that both play a role to make each other happy. Either based on their needs or personality.
Sometimes, all it takes is a few seconds to type it out, "I love you" than to make someone upset. Sometimes it takes a few seconds, to think there isn't a point writing it because of what's within the chemistry between both lovers. Perhaps, I need to change my mentality on certain things. Be more mature, and wake up. The more I screw things up, the more likely this relationship wouldn't work.
I see her with my future in it. I promise you that because no other girl loves me as how she does.
I'm learning, growing and learning to be understanding and also pessimistic. :P
Very true.I'm a big fool, and I'll definitely do this more often.
Well, if you are reading my dear, I love you with all my heart, I can't wait to see you and give you an awesome IMBA hug. <3 LOVE YOU~
