I'm back!

Hey peeps! I'm back from Sri Lanka and it WAS a great experience. But I wouldn't wanna go back there again because everything is literally expensive!

So life goes on as how it seems, I tried to keep my mind off things that I shouldn't be thinking of. I actually fell sick when I reached Sri Lanka and I guess it was the lack of rest which made my body weak but I had a great experience seeing how life is outside Malaysia.
And we had great performances by our Radio team + Tv team.


She's HOT! A colleague of mine in the radio team.
Food's good too.
So pretty much my weekend ended just like that. Had great fun, hanging out with great friends.

But even after so, I still miss her. Guess she've already moved on.

Life's just like that.

Decision has been made.

It was certain that when I looked into her eyes, all I saw was a hard cold stone whom doesn't seem to realize it only hit me that hard in the face that I'm just not the one. Words she used to say, just an illusion. It was just merely a drop of water into the sea. Meaningless.

I held back my feelings, feeling heavy hearted knowing that I already lost everything.

I yearn to find back what I've been looking for, for tomorrow I shall leave for Sri Lanka. Hopefully I could find some peace there and enjoy the view. It will be a memorable weekend with my officemates.

Recently I tried my best, to shower her with love, to show her the meaning of true love but it all ended as though I've been playing with fire. I burnt myself and it left a mark, but even knowing that I've been burnt, I still kept playing with it hoping that one day that fire will eventually become harmless. Turned to a blind eye, my effort was wasted. Not recognized and not even appreciated. So much for being Mr.Niceguy.

People nowadays don't seem to realize that there're only few guys left to carry out true love. Wait not people, mainly girls. Not to be sexist but girls nowadays do have the tendency to not wake up from the true facts in front of their eyes.

Funny how girls tend to be so clingy for a guy who cheats, flirts behind their back and yet they still say that "my heart belongs to him". So should I change myself to be that guy who cheats, and flirts behind the girl's back? Sorry I'm will not stoop so low to do such things.

I know where I stand and my friends told me that I should be myself. Never change for a person unless it's worth changing for the better. I will, definitely will change for the better. As for now I see myself as a person who hasn't changed abit since my last relationship. Tend to be so forceful and desperate.

So for now, mark my words, I will definitely not look back at my past and I will never seek for you again. Do not regret for I'll definitely show you that my future girlfriend will love my for who I am. Not a spare tyre, not some guy who just be there for you when you need one and dumped aside once u found someone else.

For now, thanks for those who were there for me. Even for those who didn't bother, thanks for reading.

No more emo posts, only more lively updates about my life. :) till then, see you when I'm back from Sri Lanka.

A tear shed from the heart

I tried, and I tried. No matter how much I try, it will never be the same again. So who will I ever know whether there's someone out there for me? Never.

My heart shed a tear today, knowing the person whom I cared so much actually treats me like a total stranger. I tried so hard to actually tell her my heart is willing to shower her with love but she looks away from me, dodges me look into her eyes and that shows how much you actually tried to fight for this.

To show me how much you actually want this. Perhaps I may be that fling you wanted. To have someone who cares for you when you are lonely, when you are ignored. I may be that person but do know that I do have feelings. I've been lonely for a long period of time, and I've tried many times to learn how to love. I've failed a great many of it, only to realize that my love is to be played, as a toy like barbie dolls, to be loved in the beginning and ignored in the end

I tried so hard, and yet I know I'm already losing in the war of love.


I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to. I really don't know.

God help me..

Something worth sharing.

I really miss .... ....

I don't know why but deep inside me tells me I should be doing something about it than to just ignore it. But will she look at me with the same way she did before? I don't know. And I guess she already have someone else in mind..

Am I silly? Or am I naive? Or both?

I rather be in love with the right one than to be with the wrong one but how do we know what is right or wrong before we even try?

I really told myself before than I'm not the kind of guy who quits so easily. But I have to take back my words because I actually quit trying. In my thought, it is like I'm fighting a losing battle. Again when I give myself more thought, I might actually win the war! *metaphor*

So in my head right now is like, How is she? Is she alright? Will she actually ignore me for life? Am I such a guy who a girl wouldn't fight for? Will she ever be mine?

That is the question, for me to know and for me to find out. If only she knew. It would be a miracle if I would suddenly get a message from her. Then I shall know if she really did cared for me and miss me,But knowing that reality is a bitch, what are the odds she would pick up her phone and ask me out. 0%.

Sigh..I really do miss her..if only she knew..how much she means to me.. only if..

Real smart and mature move

If I were to say that I would like to move on and not see you anymore because you want to be single but I want to look for the love of my life, you become very defensive and to make yourself not look any worst, you block him off facebook? Funny how people tend to think.

And really it shows your maturity towards how you handle things. I maybe persistent and straightforward but sometimes I would love to see you fight for this relationship between 2 friends.

Must it always be the girl who does the, "I'll leave you now and will not talk to you for the rest of my life"? but saying that only because she wants that guy to continue trying and to see his sincerity. So when a guy does the same towards a girl, I guess it's just not the same.

But seriously, blocking me off facebook? Really a mature move. I'm not here to whine, but to share a thought of someone who doesn't seem to realize how a guy feels.

I guess I've lost a friend, and created a hater. But nonetheless, I think I will not hurt myself and to believe that there might actually be a chance with her. Because all she gave was false hope, and false love.

You don't simply just message any guy and say IMY ( stands for I miss you ) or just say what you want to say. Have you ever consider the guy's feelings if he ever wanted more than just IMY? And when he ask, you just say that he's being oversensitive. So I guess it was just a false statement?

A girl's action is very much like baseball. She keeps throwing things at you, hoping you would catch it and get the freaking idea of what she wants from you.

Today I decided to make peace and told her it's best if we were to go our separate ways but instead she took it as tho I will never see her again. Do you think that it is possible to move on or to find someone else if I continue seeing you and, with you giving me all the false hope? I will only learn to hurt myself more.

So hence this post is about someone who just couldn't accept the fact that I've choose to move on and make peace, and instead of giving me the privilege, she thinks I'm going to just ignore her for life, hence her actions of blocking me off facebook. Well I really think that I'm not much of a great guy either, cos she misses other guys too.

Take a look at yourself and have a good look. I don't go saying in facebook that i miss you to every single girl I see. I don't go telling lies to people who ask you where you are. For example, who are you out with? Oh I'm with J only, yumcha. Whereas the fact she's with J AND K.

I don't see a point putting much hope for this, as you only gave me stupid answers whereas you're not ready for relationship. I don't like to lie to the person I love. I don't go blocking people because they say they want to move on. If you want to block, might as well just delete. I don't need someone who barely cares for me as much as I care for her.

Seriously, grow up.

Something's amiss.

Why is it that I feel so upset when I know I should not? Does it really hurts so badly that even tears can't explain the pain,agony and sorrow I'm facing? I told myself multiple times to be strong. I know I can, but you know, just like a bird, no matter how high you fly, one day you will fall down and die. No matter how strong I tell myself to be, I guess nobody makes me feel like how you do. I don't know why I'm being all emotional when I should be telling myself that,"hey, at least she's been honest, accept the fact that you're not her main priority! So why don't you wake up, you stupid fuck and fucking realize that you're just not the one!".

I've lack in many aspects, I guess maybe that's why people don't see me the way I want them to. I always give myself the best thought possible, trying my best not to keep putting myself so low. But then after again and again, results shows that it's not that I've been putting myself down but instead I am what I am. A failure when it comes to love. Someone who doesn't deserve anybody's love.



I think, I really have nothing to say but.. I'm very sad. No words could describe how I feel right now.....and definitely something is amiss. My heart that's torn in two, I'm having trouble finding the other half.

Funny how women are.

Again comes the part where she just leaves you hanging there. Not messages, no notifications. She chooses to just say her words and just goes offline. Oh wait, or perhaps she "accidentally" fell asleep. And if you message her, it's either she's too busy or she's just too lazy to reply.

Reasons she gave, too many but if you want to put it into consideration, it just wouldn't add up. Then comes to the point where the guy is at fault where he was being oversensitive and not able to be considerate to know what she was doing. But WAIT, how is the guy able to know what the girl is doing when she doesn't even let him know? So I guess the guys HAVE to make assumptions right? What are the odds of assumptions that are right?

What she does in front of you and what she does when you are not with her is a whole lot different. Humans are how they are said they are. We talk what we want to hear, we do what we want to do. Nothing could stop us.

So what's the big fuss right now? Confusion. Confused with their actions and how their body languages are. They can tell you that you mean the world to them, but yet behind your back, 50 other guys could mean the world to them. So where's the weight in words that comes out their mouth?

Do you find yourself confused by women’s behavior? Unsure of who she really is?

Just who is the real woman?

"The real woman is a sensitive, overly emotional being."

"You’re wrong. She’s a bitchy, complaining, mean thing!"

"No, you’re both wrong! She’s a sweet, caring individual."

So many different opinions! Why are women’s behavior so mysterious? Will we ever figure them out?

What is the REALITY behind women’s behavior? Who IS the real woman?

Be prepared, for what follows might upset the way you picture women. But this revelation is NECESSARY to bring you future success.

Women are NONE of these! A lot of the time, anyway.

And here’s the reason...

Women have a plan for their network of relationships. In their mind, the world revolves around them. So they assign different relationships to different kinds of people.

What this means is that women also have a plan for how each guy she meets will fit into her life.

This means YOU!

And whenever a guy doesn’t seem to want to fit the mold SHE THINKS she wants him to, she’ll use DRAMATIC TACTICS in an attempt to manipulate his behavior to fit her likings.

These little women’s tactics are often mistaken for the REAL woman!

And if you’re not aware of them, like many, many men, it becomes impossible to distinguish the REAL woman from her DRAMA. Women’s behavior can create an illusion.

I assure you, this mistake is common -- too common among most men.

It is only by being aware of women’s behavior... that these dramatic tactics are cheap tricks used by the woman, but they are NOT the real woman.

Here, we’re going to explore them. There are three main tactics women use...

1) Sob Stories
2) Temper Tantrums
3) Flirty Displays

Women will attempt to use any one of these behaviors to get you to do or behave the way THEY want you to! ... to get you to like to the image and role they want you to play in their life.

But not fitting the likings she wants you to form to by not altering to women’s behavior -- is the big secret to creating attraction.

Funny huh..

So conclusion is, the more you choose to ignore them, the more they come to you. Or vice versa.

It's a thought I am sharing.

It's been a while.

I guess it's been a while since I last posted on my blog. Due to popular demand (hehe), I was forced to post something on my blog. HAHA!

Life seems a little hard on my family, with all the recent troubles that doesn't seem to end, never ending troubles and I find it difficult to cope. I really tried to help, to offer what I can, but then again as some says "If you can't help yourself, don't try helping others".

I believe that we could always offer help to those who needs it, although we may not be able to provide much but it's the thought that counts. I hope that I could contribute to the family as my dad always say that I'm the man of the house if he's gone. Every cloud has a silver lining. Where's my silver lining?

Although things seems pretty slow at the moment, I guess it gives me time to think properly on what I would pursue in the future. Confused and frustrated, I guess I needed more time. Classes will be up soon, can't wait. Am very eager to finish up my studies and get a proper job.

I hope that things will be slightly easier for me and my family in the future, pray for my family..nonetheless pray for Japan.
Had a yumcha session with a very adorable bunny teeth friend who has not seen me for a very long period of time. It was good catching up. I guess there's where we can say, I've changed for the better. Slowly but gradually.

If she doesn't notice the changes in me, I guess it is either just me or she's just blind. lol. Something came up to me when Jess asked me to re-blog. So I remember I had this, and I would love to share it.

As I sit here gazing out the window,
Instead of working, I’m daydreaming of you...
And wondering if while you’re in your own world,
You’re thinking of me too.

I reminisce about the day we met and how you made me feel,
Looking at the glowing smile on your face,
Staring into your dreamy beautiful eyes,
Your smell, your touch, your warm embrace

What a special night that was...

And now, I’m starting to feel that warmth inside,
Like nothing or no one else can make me feel...
Butterflies, a constant smile, happy thoughts,
Looking forward to the next time we meet.

What lies ahead, down the road to love?
Can it possibly be what I’ve been hoping for?
All my goals, dreams, passions, hopes...
Glaring now before me with great anticipation.

No one knows what tomorrow brings...
One can only wish and believe...
I have abounding faith that God will take care of me,
And bring the right person into my life.

Could it be you?
Time will tell...
I feel a special bond starting between us,
And so I’m truly hopeful that it is (you).

If you understood this, then yes it is you. But if you don't, try google translate. HAHA!

So much for poetry, I used to be very sentimental when I was younger. I guess I've lost my touch. Hope it's good, cos it ain't yet my best mood but at least I hope you understood. Rapper yo~

Flying So-low~

I had a boring week. It wasn't much but just the usual hangouts and work. I really feel like I need someone to be messaging me, talking to me all the time. Feels so lonely not having one.

USED to have a BFF who currently is busy with work and girlfriend, USED to have a whole bunch of gaming kakis ( gaming friends ), USED to have a whole bunch of clubbing peeps, but then again..all are busy, MIA or overseas. Sadface. :(

The most recent fun thing I did was to go up Genting Highlands on a Sunday afternoon, ( KL IS FREAKING HOT THAT DAY ) and get to actually chill there. It was literally relaxing, fun and..nothing else to do there.

Well on the other hand, going up to Genting is part of my eventjob so I had to anyways, besides getting to go to Genting and get paid rm50 for doing nothing much, I think it's very worth it. Oh, rm50 is just allowance and I still get paid for being there also by hour. So spent 12 hours in Genting, setting up buntings, getting ALL ACCESS PASS into ABP, Anugerah Bintang Popular and I manage to get a upfront look at Siti NurHalizah! :D

Here's some pictures. They use my funny face picture. T.T
I really meant it. Nothing else better to do.

I guess that's about it. A new week starts, apparently something to look forward for. A dance rehearsal for my Sri Lanka Company Trip. Hopefully it'll be fun. Cheerios. :)

Hopefully, some sweet memories. But so far it has been sour.

I actually had a very random message from the past, and it was a message to seek for forgiveness. To be honest, I'm not a person who hold grudges unless you really did something which hurt me so bad. But even so, I "STILL" do not hold grudges and trust me on that, I meant it.


As the saying goes, forgive and forget..but can we really do so? Sometimes it's just not that easy to forget. It has scarred us so deeply that every time we close our eyes, we see that pain, that sorrow deep inside us that is still there. If we have no sorrows, we are not humans.

I felt as though that I've learnt a lot. To gradually learn about life, the purpose of life. It's not easy to start off with but it is easily ended with a blink of an eye.

When I know that somehow, or perhaps I could tell that a person likes me by just taking a glance at him/her. It's not that difficult to distinguish the difference between likings and dislikes.

I guess I know where I stand, and maybe it's best for me to wait? Or to take another step and move on? Confused but yet the answer is crystal clear. I tend to hesitate a lot, give myself some thoughts and false hopes and in the end, it is as though I am fighting a losing battle.

Nonetheless I will always try my best, to work hard in order to achieve something. So I'll remember, I'll keep those memories that I made it with you and treasure it. Even if you may not recognize me the next time you see me, at least I knew I made those beautiful memories with you, even for the shortest moments.

Memories, sweet and sour, somethings can never be forgotten.




If only memories can be sold, I'll be rich. hehe.