Somethings made things right.

I never knew how doing things with your parents would actually be a great feeling. I always assumed that my parents were naggy and grumpy, always complaining about this and that. But I guess it was all for our own good, as we grow up, we will learn about those things our parents taught us through their naggings.

Today, I spent a little quality time with my dad, as he suggested that we should clean Jia Jing's car tyres. Apparently my dad said it looked really dusty so he told me to scrub it with a brush. And so I did! Seems like my dad really likes her, he always asked me to check the lubricant oil and the radiator water level.

So besides washing the car yesterday, and to my horror it looks like it's gonna rain heavily real soon ( it's 8.11am right now) but my dad didn't seem to be bothered about the weather. He told me everything can be washed so just do it. Then as I open the car bonnet, Jia Jing's car alarm rang so loudly, that both me and my dad jumped. Then we started laughing together seeing how silly we both reacted.

Eventually, I checked her car's sexy body and refilled everything that's required. Not only that, I cleaned her car inside because it really looked like a hurricane inside. I'm really surprised how a woman's car can be so messy when most of the time, our mentality towards women are always that they are neat, tidy and organized. Well Jia Jing is one but not in her car. Rofl. HEHE

And I noticed that it is like treasure hunt in her car. You can find at least 6 pair of heels, a couple of books, a bunch of charcoal wrapped with newspaper, a old 100plus bottle, empty sweet box and many more! Don't mind me mentioning here ya :P
Her Lost Treasures.


So eventually we made everything looked like super clean+neat+nicer?

I had a great time with my dad, kinda like the first time we actually had fun doing something together. He's a fun guy, after all I'm just as fun as him. Just not as bald as him. Lol. Sparkling Clean. See the twinkle?


So here I am writing this post, for my beloved girl who is currently not feeling well and sleeping right now, hope this puts a smile on your face on this beautiful day.

P.s ~ Webcamming has never been more fun,till I met her.

Kaya ball rocks.

Simple

Just a short simple post to show that distance makes us bond even stronger. Hope she's enjoying herself right now, while I'm sitting down here thinking about what to do for Merdeka Eve night.

:)

Honesty.

We all live our life in the way we choose to be and sometimes in order to get what we want, we use this word called "lies".

I've never been a perfectly honest guy in all my life. Maybe just a while when you come out from your mother's womb, that would be your first phase of life where we start our lives. Then as we grow older, sometimes we use lies to escape from trouble, or to get what we want.

I've lied many times before and lies will never run from you. What we lie, will continue to be with us for life. So then, I chose to make a choice. To be bluntly honest and straightforward.

Having this kind of personality wouldn't really be the perfect choice but it beats being a liar. This happens in all relationships, whether in our families or relationships.

So, what I appreciate most is the truth and honesty that would most likely be the cause of pain and happiness. For me, in most of my relationships or with the people, I always tell this to the people I care and love. My favorite line would be this, " I rather you be honest and tell me the truth, tho truth hurts like hell, but imagine finding out the truth for ourselves, it hurts more than just hell."

We make amends for the lies we make, and then we live on.

What she shared with me last night, was a good start to a new beginning. Hopefully things will continue on like that, and it will gradually grow between us. Not only just love, but the trust we build from a scratch. I truly appreciate her a lot, for clearing so much things and that would make me a better person too.

I used to be lied to so many times, till I don't know how to trust anymore. I became insecure and sensitive towards almost everything a girl does. In a way you can put it that I've became tremendously jealous and over possessive. It was difficult, being that person. But years gone by, and I'm a changed man.

I learnt that through all those that I've been through, I would become a better person in life. I was surprised, even to myself that I was able to overcome that insecure, over possessive personality. She made me different. She made me whole.

I guess that missing part of my life, that missing puzzle, I found the missing piece. It fits just right into that hole of emptiness. Whether she makes me complete, that is up to us right now. Our world, our story and our love begins from the moment we set our eyes upon each other.

We have our differences, but those differences made us bond even closer. But nothing beats our differences with the common things we have together. Our sense of fashion, food and love.

Like people say, don't look for love, let love find you. And I think it did. Thank you, it's been a while since I've been alone. She's like the light in the dark.

There's a favorite line I liked in her blog, "Yeap. It has been two weeks and still it’s awesomely awesome! He is awesome. And I am awesome too! "

Yup, we're awesome-ke-pawsome lovers.

Even more awesome than superman. HEE. Nights people.

P.s. Hope she comes back real soon. "Dear Jiajing, It's been a while since I last saw your smile, I want to make it the 81th time. Love, Kelvin"
(Sorry, only Jiajing knows this line :P )

B.L.O.G

What does blog actually means? What I've gotten from wikipedia, blog is a type of website or part of a website. Blogs are usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.

I've never, NEVER blogged so much before and it's totally different when you know someone's going to wake up and the first thing that special "someone" will do is to read my blog. It touches me so deep that I knew that the least I could do is just continue writing.

I do know that my english isn't exactly the best, but I guess if you can read this so far, I'm sure it's just alright. LoL. So here's my daily newpaper to you everyday if I could, for you to read and for me to put that smile on your face. 78th time yes? :P

When I read her blog, somewhere deep inside my heart felt so warm, the feeling of being wanted, the feeling of being loved for just the way you are. It's a whole new feeling, something that I dare say I've never gotten before.

Everytime she blogs, every post she wrote, I have butterflies in my stomach. She makes my stomach whirl like a wind, and it gives me goose bump. Not because every word she writes in her blog is scary or frightening but it's because every word she writes in her blog carries so much weight that I could feel it deep inside me.

Tho we're miles apart, our heart is forever together. =)


I'm crazily in love with her.

Picture perfect. We're indeed chocolate banana. ;)

It's been 2 weeks..

I watched a movie, called Dear John, and it really made me feel like I'm just like John in his shoes.

It is a very interesting story, but most unfortunate that I couldn't watch it all because I was too tired. What I love most was this, " It only has been two weeks, and it felt like it has been a year." The same scenario happens right now between me and JJ!

The time we spent together, although it may be for a short moment as how others may have seen it, but when we are together, it really does seem like it was like we've been through so much together.

We do have our differences but I can tell you how much crazy things we have in common. Food, taste in fashion, our thoughts, it is really crazy ya know? For me, it only has been two weeks, but that two weeks carried so much weight of memories to begin with.

It's like you carry a whole bunch of unfix puzzle and carry all those pieces together and gradually placing those pieces as how it should be. I don't think that time is exactly something we can say we have spent much together, but what I can say is that the time we spent together is something that we'll both treasure.

As I open my eyes, every time I woke up, I always asked myself, am I that fortunate to have found someone who loves me for who I am,not what I am. She's a gem, something I would treasure and keep it as long as I can. I hope she does the same for me too.

I won't be able to find anyone to replace her, because she is she, one in a million. Unique and special, sweet and hot. Awesome combination, that suits me just fine.

Love,
Kelvin.

I'm back!

Hey people, I'm back. It's been a really busy week for me, hectic week and also one of the best weeks of the month.

I've been working a lot and of course, spending much time with her, JJ.

I think in the previous posts, I kinda missed out one of the most important parts where she really made me felt so touched and wanted. It sort of started when I told her that I had an emcee job, it was my first and it was alright I guess.

My emcee job was held at Midvalley Conventional Hall and it was for an event that sells gadgets and many awesome inventions. I had a hunch that day tho, felt like I knew something good was about to happen but I was more concern about my emcee job. I didn't want to screw up my first time, as it would be a good platform for me so I could improve myself in near future. To build up my charisma and confidence too!

So it all started as I got up the stage and begun my emcee job. We were talking, playing games with the crowd and it is really amazing how "difficult" it is to give away FREE freebies! People are shy and some are so afraid of coming up to the stage! But it's understandable tho, imagine the whole crowd watching you doing something embarrassing.

And suddenly, in the middle of the crowd, there she was, sitting down there smiling at me. It was when I was doing the talking and I actually fumbled as my eyes met hers. I had this HUGGEEEEEE smile in my heart and I never felt so happy before. She was sitting there, giving me that super awesome surprise by just attending my first emcee event. Words couldn't express how much what she did for me just by being there.

So this post is a dedication to her, for being spontaneous and sweet enough to come and visit me for my very first emcee job. Thank you so much, you don't know how much it means to me. Really, truly from the bottom of my heart.

Here's another post that goes out to how I feel towards certain things.

It is a simple story, a girl meets a guy, they both fell in love and eventually love took them to another different level of the story. But if we look beyond the story, there might be another story which took place earlier.

Everyone has a story in their life. Everyone has chapters that we wrote and it became part of our memories, and we continue writing.

I came across a story which I felt like I was the bad guy. The one who spoilt everything in that other story. Mine's perfectly fine, and getting along just fine. But I somehow felt very bad, as tho I have done something bad..

Then I've come to realize that, life is like that. Reality hits us hard, we're not living in a fairytale. I'm sorry to the other person, but somehow things fell in for both of us and it's been a great story and it will continue to be one.

I know one thing for sure, I've met someone who sees my flaws as part of myself. That's the beauty of her. She never did looked down on me, no matter what situation I am, no matter what I asked, she's a very determined girl. And of course, independent. She taught me how things an actual girl thinks about an outing. For a date or something like dinner. It's funny and she always puts that smile on me.

Right now, I know I'm sure of what I am capable of, and to make the best of it. I made this compilation of smiles she had given me, and it's still counting. 73, and it would be 74 when you read this.

You, made me whole. You, complete me, and you, filled up my empty life with happiness. I luv u, Jazel Ee JiaJing.

Remember this line, the partial story I told you, that gaps between your fingers that God made for you are for me to fill it with mine and hold on to it forever.

-kel-

A past of mine..

I came across an old post, dated 31st Oct 2010. Something I would like to share about my past a little on how I went through a lot..

I once fell for a girl whom made me think that the world isn't very judgmental after all. She turned things around and made me feel like i'm still worth something. A piece of something perhaps. Slowly i grew more fond of her, thinking i could be able to achieve something in return to prove my capability. Thus, it's not what i think it is. It's not how life works. You want it to happen, it does. But does it happen bcos u made it happen or it happens bcos it was fated? I no longer see the meaning of love.

I met various people, made plentiful of friends and lost many great friends. I made a wrong step in life but i realized and i tried to take the other step in a new path. Feels awkward, feels great at the same time but sense the discomfort of the new environment. I learnt things fast, i learnt how to grow better. Mature u say, perhaps i've still got a long way to go. Yes i admit, so much more to learn, to see life in a different way.

So here i am writing a note, perhaps to some people, I may be whining, complaining and self-pity but i write, bcos i feel like it is a way to express how i feel. When i put in words that comes out from my mouth, it is easily forgotten like a wind passing through ur ears. Words are the strength of me now and this is how i would express my feelings. Some said i tried too hard, some said it's the way u do things that's all wrong. Right now, i'm literally confused. Not confused in making decisions, but confused in life. Weird. I know it is contradicting but hey, that's what i feel.

I looked in a mirror. I see me. I felt hopeless, as tho i can't help much.

Been couple of months till i really had some hardcore thinking about what i want in life. Slowly i'm trying to make some progress and i guess i'm doing pretty good on that. What's lacking now is im really confused. about this one person who made me think so much. I don't know what it is but it gives me a really mixed feelings. i ALWAYS admired my guyfriends who always have gf who are like super super hawt and i always figure out, what is it that they see in them.*no offence to any of my bros who has superhot gf* Money? Style? Personality? I always scratch my head when i think of it. A friend once told me i tried too hard. perhaps. Another said im too fast. ok, slow things down. Then when i slow it down, another guy jumps in front of her and poof she disappears. Fml serious fml. What am i doing? i dont know anymore. hah, i laugh at myself sometimes for being such a loser. I met many girls that i knew if i tried, i could. But why hesitate..? i asked myself why sometimes. But i really don't think i know the answer yet.

Fortunately, i learnt that friends, some can be dependable, some can be a real jackass and some can be literally a 2 face assbite. Friends whom i was onced called brother, turned their backs on me bcos of my lifestyle. With regrets, i knew it was wrong but with my new lifestyle, i learnt so much and gain that temporary popularity and fame. Nt worth it.Friends whom were once my "brothers" now no longer acknowledge me even as friend. Walked into the restaurant, they didn't even bother to shake and ask how's life. "Yo fatty wassup" they said. A good "bro" of mine said i didn't bothered to email him, not even concern to ask where or how is he. I guess that was my bad. But can't you do the same first? Takes 2 to tango right? Now, i am happy with the one bro who trusts me and cared for me. I guess :P who is so kind in many ways its hard to expect it out of him, of all m friends. Shows that true friends do exist huh.Now, i feel really really reluctant to do anything.Besides working and exercising, i think i'll stick to that routine. Maybe i should start going to shaolin temple. better life there. I wish i could handle my life like making fried rice. Add some oil, put d rice, salt, spices, egg,and voala. Nope, kel, that's not how life works.

I just hope that this someone who knows what or why i wrote this note understands what this stupid note is all about. Confusing as it may sound, but it's just like a puzzle. Take a piece of puzzle at a time and try to put it in places. My life's all jumble up now. I just took 2 puzzles and placed them where it should be. Now, who'll be next to help me?Who..will complete me?

Kelvin Ng.31 Oct 2010. ( copy paste from the notes in Facebook. )

Today, Monday 22th August 2011. If I were to say that who managed to fill up those missing puzzle pieces, there is someone now. There is someone who will soon be able to complete me, make my life whole.

I always did comparisons, always asking questions. Sometimes I asked myself, am I that lucky to have someone like her in my life? Indeed I am. My perception towards love, has changed because of her. She made things differently for me. She looked at me as a lover, an equal.

I always had this thought in my mind that women are indeed influenced heavily by materialistic behavior. She proved me wrong. Money can't buy happiness. Money can't put that gorgeous smile on that face. Well, it can, but only temporary.

She made my world seems brighter.

And she's driving me crazily, in love. =)

A question I've been wanting to ask..

I always wanted to ask but it didn't seem like it was the right time, and when it was, I couldn't say out the question. I really wanted this, and I'm gonna make this right. The best out of it, and to make sure it is one heck of a moment that we both won't forget.



Wait for me, baby. I'll sweep you off your feet.



P.s. Sorry for the short post again, am really tired and got to work early tomorrow. I really miss you. :)

A time to bond..

It's a beautiful night, a night with just the two of us.

She picked me up after her work, and we've been chilling together since then. It was nice to have her around me and she is indeed a very good company. No matter how many times I've repeated myself, she has the most unique,gorgeous smile that you find it hard to find in many people.

Right now, she's snoring right next to me while I blog, it's a cute sight.

Guess it's time for me to snore :P

Nights.

My Dear Superwoman

It is my pleasure to be of some help to you, when you needed someone to be there.

Back in the olden days, when the damsel is in distress, the knight in shining armor will turn up and saves her from whatever that is causing the damsel to distress.

So basically yeah, I can say I will be there for you, no matter what. To put it in a more promising words,I will TRY to be there for you, no matter what it takes.

After all, I'm your superman. Lol.


p.s. sorry for the short post, I'm really tired and I got to work soon, will update more soon! :) and imy jj! <3

A secret lover

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all.

-Ronan Keating, When you say nothing at all.

That is something which I can see what we have between us. There's a lot in my mind, thinking about the future, how we would overcome things together and how we would enjoy each others company. I've not really been in a proper date/relationship so "sila tunjuk ajar ya". What I actually meant is, of course I've been dating and also being in a relationship, but I never really did much in the past, as in bringing her to somewhere romantic, or doing surprises or even making Valentine's Day special. I didn't do much to be honest.

I used to be a useless bum, thinking my world revolves around me. I could say I was self-centered and selfish. So now, it's been almost 3 years since I was in a relationship and things have changed, tremendously. I am a whole new person, and I'm most definitely different in many ways. Better, of course.

I've learned through so much pain and hardship that it made me more mature in many ways. So, as days past by, I hope I could learn as much as I can from all these and I also hope that she could teach me along the way. Day by day, as how it seems, we get to know each other more, better in many ways. She's still shy, most definitely but she's beginning to feel more comfortable sharing with me, and I thank you for that. =) She does makes me jealous at times, but hey, if I'm not to be jealous, it would mean that I didn't care, right? So I'm a tiny whiny bit of jealous, but like I always told her, I'm confident. HEHE. Tho we have our differences, she never looked at me differently. That's why she's so special to me.

Our journey will soon start, a story about K and J. A lover in secret, that has yet to be revealed, a person who cared for me like no others.

She kinda reminded me about certain quotes that I written before, and I was glad to share it with her. I have a craze to do a tattoo on both of my arms, so I've gotten this quote, from this. "If I were to do a tattoo about you, I would do it on my arms so I know that I have you within my grasps, forever.

I shall show you a glimpse of her. She's my diamond. *<3*

Dreams..

I pinched myself, a thousand times for the past few days every time I woke up. Is this real? Is this really happening?, I ask myself.

I guess it is, as everyday when I wake up in the morning or night, I would see her picture on my phone, reminding me how lucky I am to have her in my life. Lucky? Indeed I am. What are the odds of being the most outstanding among those who tried earlier than me? I didn't know, but I just tried. Confidence kept me going, and of course, with some effort too on her side.

If this is a dream, I wouldn't want to wake up. I would stop time in my dreams just to be by her side, treasuring every single moment. The glimpse of her eye makes plenty of guys turn their heads. Her sweet smile melts hearts like how the sun melts an ice cream. Somehow, I laughed to myself, I brought myself upon a war. To protect her from the bees, and to be the best bee. "THIS IS SPARTA!" lol.

And of course, in order to be the best bee, I need sheltox. LOL! Hahaha! I'm sure only JJ and Angeline gets this part.

This dream, is one dream worth remembering. It's just the beginning, but it's already giving me a good feeling about this.


I guess it's time for me to hit the bed again, before my princess gets mad at me for not sleeping.

She's a dream. Don't wake me up ya! :P

P.s - I woke up, just because I forgot to blog for you, so here it is! <3 hehe.

Romance, something I'm new at.

It's been a while since I was being romantic. So if I were to be given a chance to share my thoughts, I have some up in my sleeves for my love one, JJ. Nothing to be embarrassed about since it's just a matter of time before we eventually fall deeper in love.

I've got nothing to hide from her, I'll be always truthful to her and I'll do my best to keep her happy always. We can't always expect the best out of everything but we'll try ain't it? Hopefully I could keep this momentum going and gradually learn what a relationship is truly all about as I've met a girl who loved me for who I am, literally.

So here goes a few sayings, for you.

If you held up 11 roses into a mirror, you’d be looking at 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

I miss you when I'm not with you....when I'm not with you all I do is think about you...when I think about you I just want to be with you....and when I'm with you it's like all of my dreams have come true.

You deserve the world, and I know I can't give that to you. So I'll give you the next best thing....my world.


Last night, I experienced something, which I haven't gotten before in my life. To be able to see tears of joy, I couldn't be any luckier than any guy on earth. I made my point, she's the one. :)
Something worth sharing. I'm really tired and hopefully I'll recover soon from this annoying cough I've gotten. I had a great evening and I hope you had one too. It's a memorable night.

I shall update more, because this is really a brief post, my eyes are shutting and I'm hitting the bed. Nights people.

Time is essential. Only time will tell.

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you lost it, you can never get it back."

We all look back on life, what we've been through and obstacles that we've overcome. Then, we look back on time, where somehow we wish we could turn back time to make things right.

I've been having a great time, tho it has been not a long run, but it has been a run that was made worthwhile. Who knew that love is something we have between us and I tend to keep it that way.

Every moment spent was treasured, kept as memories that 2 minds, body and soul would not forget. The day it all started from just a hi, to the day where it will reach to the 3 special words. "I _ _ _ _ you."

Go figure as most of you will know what those blanks will be filled in.

One thing for sure is that I can tell you, she's like no other. Uniquely special ( if there's such word but its the best to describe her ), her smile never seems to wither within me, and her genuine feelings for me.

What else could a guy like me ask for? Nothing more, nothing less. I could say that ""Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." But I can say she prefers chocolate banana. Hehe.

As it is,I would say it's really something special, I will not let it go easily, and of course, I would do my best to keep it forever if it is possible.

To me, it doesn't matter how often we see each other, what matters most is how much we think about each other and to be honest, letters form words that are never enough for me to describe her, beautifully.

I always had this wish, a wish that I'm that guy, an ordinary boy, with an extraordinary effect on your heart. My wish did come true. There are so many reasons to be happy, and one of them is just by looking at you. :)

This is the my regular heartbeat : ____/\_____/\_____/\_____/\____
This is my heartbeat when I see you : __/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__

I'm crazy about her. Literally cuckoo. Hahaha.

For me, there's a saying that goes "you don't love a woman because she's beautiful, She's beautiful because you love her." Indeed.


p.s : True love isn't love at first sight. It should be at every sight.

True love passes all understandings. True love Expresses loyalty. True love hurts but can learn how to mend. True love dreams the highest dreams. True love waits until the stars visit the day. True love seeks good for the other.

True love lends forgiveness. True love cries but washes away the pains. True love makes an ignorant boy a mature man. True love softens the heart of a girl to a nurtured woman. True love never lies.

True love loves a person until forever. True love sees love even though the hair is white. And most of all...TRUE LOVE never breaks promises, until the vow has been done.

Even if I live a thousand lifetimes,you will still be my one, my only, my true love.

This was written by me a long time ago, something which came back to me after a while and it's definitely something worth sharing.

Gawd, her smile is killing me, in a loving way. Lol.

The beginning of a new start.

Nothing could express how I feel right now. My life is suddenly filled with colors that I've never seen before, colors that made me feel how right things are now.

I've been through almost 3 years of loneliness and finally someone sees me differently. I guess what others say must be right, that you shouldn't be looking for love, instead let love find you. Of course, when you manage to come across love, you must take your chances, and nurture it.

Right now, things are still raw, like how rough diamonds are before they have not been cut into beautiful shapes and designs. But I hope, things will fall into places and gradually I'll crave and shape this diamond into something so beautiful that no words could ever express how it looks like.

So, the beginning of a new start, the first chapter of my story, begins.

Our life is written with a pen, we couldn't erase what happened in the past, but we can actually look back at those pages and see what went wrong thus evaluating it. Then we can continue writing our stories. Speaking about looking back in the past, I came upon a chapter that made me realized that sometimes, we must be prepared for anything.

To be stronger. We must expect the unexpected, but unfortunately, I did not do that in the past. Gradually we'll learn, and we'll improvise it in order for us not to hurt ourselves again. I know, that my 6th sense tells me this, is right. What's happening between us is happening very quickly but I won't make the same mistake again like last time.

She's different from the rest, who knows that she might be the best.

I was at MPH with her on the first date, and it hits me when we took a dictionary/translation dictionary chinese-english, that we have a language barrier. Well, not exactly a huge ass barrier but a tiny small bit one. I plan to overcome it, I don't know how but gradually I will.

So I came up with this quote, " Language is a bridge that connects two to each other, but if you have a language barrier, as the saying goes, Action speaks louder than words. We can always prove that nothing can come between us."

<3

A post nobody knows but you.

This is a post where only she knows, a post where it made her smile and a post that made me happy to share. =)

There's a difference in what we long for, what we settle for, & who we are meant for.

Sometimes when you ponder over things that happened in your life, you ask yourself why did you ever do it, or why did you ever love that person. Questions remains in your head and unanswered.

But after everything, I know it myself that when I see someone who immediately makes my mouth form a smile without even me noticing, I knew she was someone special.

Every time I looked into her eyes, it glimmers with happiness and shyness before she turns away,blushing or perhaps her cheeks are always rosy. Do you know that she was the first girl who ever said something like "I don't know why but if you were to call, my heart beats very fast".

I take it as a compliment as I could have such effects on her, so hence you now know how much girls take notice of me. I've been working for a while, been partying and clubbing of course, but girls never seem to notice me like how she does.

It felt a little intimidating when I was out with her yesterday night and her bestfriend was counting the amount of guys that was going after her, woah seriously, it was a big WoW to me. I don't think I have that many going after me, or even if there is, I don't think I know any.

At first, I felt inferior, intimidated by those men that are more capable in many ways more than me. But suddenly a thought came into my head, reminding me to be myself. If she loves you the way you are, she's most definitely going to love you entirely, so I have to believe in myself and be confident. Yes, I know I may not be as financially stable as others, Yes, I know that I may not be as tall as the others, Yes I know I may not be a lot of things that she might wants but Yes, I believe that I have the confidence to put that smile on her face.

Putting a smile on anybody's face is easy, but putting a genuine smile, it isn't as easy as it seems. I don't know if I did managed to do so, but it felt like I did. As long as I believe in myself, and be myself then I know I've nothing to hide from her but only my genuine love and care for her.

I don't know if it was a test, by her best friend or was it true but I knew some was true. Jealous? Yes I was, but tremendously jealous? Nope. I knew where I stood, and I'm going to slowly take that step closer. The quote that I kept in my phone, I would love to share - "I may not be rich, but I'm rich in heart. I may not have everything for you, but I'll try to make everything possible for you as you are my everything. I may not be the best, but I'm not like the rest. Trust me :) " So true.

Had a chat with a friend I bumped into last night, and he told me that remember grab what's within your grasp. Don't let it slip away. I won't. And I'll make sure I'll have a good hold on it. =) thanks buddy.

So, I came across this post, it was rather funny but cute in a way.

K : How could I get you to fall for me?
J : Trip me over.

Hahaha! Cute. =)

So, confidence is what you must have, then you shall believe in your own capabilities. What is yours will eventually be yours but with some effort that you have to put in.

Everyday,when I blog, I knew someone would read it, first thing in the morning when she wakes up. And I sincerely appreciate it. It's something that I don't get often. Thank you. :) 在我眼里，你是特殊的。 I think you would understand this. HEHE.

And it's true.


P.s. Do blog, I would like to read yours too. ;)

-Signing off, Chocolate Banana-

Funny how love works.

I was heading out, to catch a drink with my friends and my mom was watching some drama show that was actually directed by a Malaysian director. It caught my attention as it turns out to be very interesting.

It came across a scene where the guy was waiting for his girlfriend/fiancee to register for their marriage, ends up not turning up. Reason why? She was with another guy, slept with that guy and chose to be with the guy she slept with. After being together for 7years. Wow, it really makes me think what is love right now in our generation of life. So how about our parents who've been together for 40 years? What was love back then?

Suddenly, deep inside me felt like I've been there before, only that I wasn't really registering for marriage but I felt like I've been used, played and dumped aside. Totally felt how that guy who was waiting for his fiancee, the feeling of rejection, the feeling of losing hope and love. I guess I was in his shoes before.

Then it hit me hard, ensuring myself never to be in that position again. To really make sure that the next one would be someone who really loves me for who I am. Whether I may be fat, chubby, ugly, short, poor or anything else you can think of. If what's meant to be, it will be. Accept me for,I am someone worth knowing and I will make worth your while.

But I always have this quote in my mind which has been stuck for a very long time and it's so true, "what we love doesn't mean we can have, but only to be appreciated from afar", so either way there's no point forcing love into your life. As many people told me before, let it come to you.

I find it contradicting as if you don't really work your way to find someone you love, how are you to know that it will come to you? If you don't do anything at all, how do you expect women to actually acknowledge your existence? Nonetheless, I still think that both ways works in a way. I think. As long you know how to walk, you then know how to run.

For those who are reading this, do not worry for I am not being emotional about my past. It was the past, a lesson that was learned back then, in order for me to realize what love is all about. I may be playful, I may be funny but when it is time to be serious, then I will be. =)

As the saying goes, "If you kick the dog, the dog will bite you back. If you love the dog, the dog will love you back and follows you for life".

I have to say, that I am definitely a jealous person, but depending on which level. I mean how can I not be jealous if the girl you like or girlfriend goes out with a guy whom might have intentions of taking her away from you. That's when trust comes in. I trust people easily, but I lose it easily. That's why I'm rather a straightforward guy and, you can put it in a way that I maybe bluntly honest. *Hope that I did not offended anyone in the past*. Jealousy has many different categories. For me, the word jealousy actually means that you really care/love the person but of course, not overdoing it.

With trust, it builds up a foundation between one another. Betraying that trust, only destroys your foundation and everything you've built. Hence, jealousy and mistrust. So basically, what you do is what you will get. As long you know your boundaries, as long as you know what you are doing, it's fine by me.

I'm a guy who once falls in love with a girl, I will love her with all my heart and try my best to do anything for her ( Omg, really sounds very cliche). Well anything sensible of course, unlike "Bruno Mars - Grenade" I wouldn't be silly enough to catch a grenade for you but I would say I would sacrifice a lot for the girl I love.
P.s - I'm really not trying to sell myself here but I'd love to share with you people reading this. =)


So no, this post isn't about me being emotional but yes, it is something I would share with you.

And seriously, I can't stop thinking about you. :)



Quote - I miss you not in some soppy "I love you baby, let's hold hands and be together forever" sort of way, I just miss you, that's all, plain and simple. I miss having you to talk to, I miss your presence in my life. Simply because it's just you.

But I think I stay quite far already. HEHE

Awkward feeling.

Somehow I just felt a little upset. I don't know why but it feels that way.

Finally!

After a long day of waiting for an answer, first thing I woke up to a message which totally made my day, "Good morning! Read your blog" and I knew it was something to look forward to.

I got myself up, washed up and was getting ready while facebooking. After replying her sms, she didn't reply mine so I just continued on doing my things while checking facebook. She was online, I didn't noticed at all and she gave me a "hey" and I gave her a "Ho". LoL.

But again as usual she tells me something about her lecturer that came late, about an hour late. Seriously, I don't think she's the first who came across a literally retarded lecturer that asks their students to change title on the last month of their holidays. But nonetheless, I felt hopeless that I couldn't help her in any ways. So as from the previous post, I asked her out for a movie thinking that today would be fun, with the movie "premier" The Zookeeper that we could watch, but instead I found out today from my colleagues that it was yesterday.

How silly I felt really, and I had to make a change of plans. Immediately I messaged her and told her about it but apparently she messaged me earlier saying that she would be taking a nap. So I didn't wait so I called her and asked her. Felt bad tho waking up that snoring beauty.

Things continue on as plans went on smoothly plus having my captain, Nadhirah for being so thoughtful for me to use the car to find her place.

I really got lost after Puchong Toll and I called for help. Generously, she actually accompanied me on the phone throughout the entire Malaysia's Best Jam, "traffic jam" and I eventually found her place almost 30minutes later.

Waited for her about 5 minutes, stood outside waiting for the princess to walk into her chariot, was drizzling but she walks like a damsel, I think I opened the door for her. Even during the carpark later on. Hee hee. Such gentleman. Gawd, yes I know I know, self praise is no praise. But just had to say it :P rofl.

And I can say, either I'm a freaking hilarious/wacko/funny/lame guy or she's just easily entertained. She really has this cute laughter and a very sweet smile. And boy, she's really shy. I must be looking really hawt that time I guess. Hahah!

But I guess sometimes I couldn't really see her eyes sometimes because I made her laugh too much. Lol! And she's such a cheery person! She keeps smiling! Something irresistible.

During the movie, it was really nice, we managed to catch the movie "Captain America" and it wasn't too bad. Well you can say that, half the time I'm busy disturbing her. And she's sweet enough to feed me popcorns although I was full. At one time, she was trying to look for my mouth but instead she accidently poke me below my lips with the popcorn.

Ms ee, sorry ya ;) Only you know why.

But awkwardly, I walked her back to her home, she just walks in and lock the door immediately. Somehow I feel like I'm a stalker following her back. I was kinda expecting a friendly hug but I guess I can't be too demanding on a first date. :)

Overall it was a great tuesday night for me. Tho she stays super uber far from me, it's worth the trip. She's worth it. ;)

And zomg, we forgotten to take picture! :( SADFACE

Something I would do one day. For you. =)

Anxious

Word of the day, anxious.

It's funny how things manage to fall together. First it started from a simple message by saying "Hi, nice to meet you" to "Lets hangout and grab a cup of coffee". It's very rare nowadays to find people as such unless you are to say that you are from overseas like the European countries or any other part of the world except Malaysia.

A simple polite gesture as "hi, nice to meet you, or hey, it's a pleasure meeting you" is always ignored by many people nowadays in our generation and of course, I'm speaking generally the people from Malaysia.

I've done plenty of events, worked multiple kinds of job scopes and I've seen all kinds of people. And to be frank, the attitude that Malaysian's cultivate is terrible.

Imagine this, I'm a young boy who just only finished SPM, found a freelance job at an event that my only job scope was to give our fliers. Practically the job's simple but yet it is so difficult because of the mentality of our society nowadays. When you approach them, you can rarely see a smile on their face and instead they look at you with disgust, walking away ignoring your existence.

Even right now, I'm working with the FlyFm Troopers ( on-ground team ), we offered FREE freebies and yet people think it's a conman job, walking away from freebies. Hilarious really.

But I've met someone who genuinely talked to me as a friend. A person whom I've not met before but only seen, a person who has a sweet smile and genuinely friendly. It all started from a simple and basic "hey! nice to meet u. do u still remember who i am?" and she replied "of course I do. I will never forget your healthy skin colour.. =)"

That really cracks me up. She literally put a smile on my face without even me noticing it.

So it isn't really hard to acknowledge people, tho there are all kinds of strangers but it's the point where we, Malaysians have to change our culture and attitude towards the society. Why are the "ang moes" so friendly, politely rejecting but genuinely smiling when you offered a flier to them? Why can't we do so too?

So right now, at 4.59am, while I'm writing this blog, hopefully she'll read it, I'm actually quite anxious on the answer she would give me tomorrow whether she would go out for a movie with me. As how she feels when I call her, I'm feeling it right now.

Seriously,the picture below explains it all. XD

Blogging.

I've noticed how my blog used to be so emotional and dramatic. It flows out a stream of emotions that couldn't be controlled by myself but I couldn't be bothered. For me, blog is one of my only few places where I can express myself without feeling embarrassed about. Its a place where I could be free to express my thoughts.

As I read back my posts that I've written, my posts were only about complains, comparison and sorrows. It is quite a rare sight to see my posts are about my daily life ( there are a few but not many ) but mostly emotional posts.

So from today onwards, I shall share more about the happy side of me. Perhaps it would make a difference, for those who are reading this. ;)

My life continues on as usual, standard routines and facing usual nagging from my parents. Why am I not surprised, even that no matter how many times my parents nagged at me, I'm always fine the next hour. Guess I'm not the type that holds grudges.

For those who are reading, I know that most of you may not know me well. Let's start from a scratch.

My name's Kelvin Ng Kaixiong, that's my full name. Kelvin Imba Ng ( my name in Facebook) is a nickname created between me and my best friend, Ronald Lim. Born in the year of 1988, a year of a dragon but based on Chinese Calenders, I'm a rabbit because I am born in the early year of 1988. So, weirdly I can put it in a way that I'm a rabbit head and a dragon body. Hybrid, Lol.

I used to play numerous sports but now it's just back to basketball and futsal. Gym has become part of my routines though I only workout on subsequent days and I do game frequently ( as in computer games ).

I enjoy reading, loves dancing ( tho I can't dance like a pro but I'll do just fine, hehe ) , enjoy movies, especially with someone you love and of course I enjoy yumcha sessions ( which also means a hangout place to grab a drink ). I love my family although they maybe noisy all the time, I enjoy doing events and I love making friends.

If you were to ask me what criteria I would like in my future girlfriend, I'll show you this note posted on my facebook a long time ago.

1.Do you need him/her to be good looking?
- Presentable.


2. Smart?
- Why not? :)


3. Preferred age?
- When it comes to love, age doesnt matter right? ;)


4. Preferred height?
- Of course shorter if can, taller..... i dont know how would the girl think la. hahaha.


5. How about sense of humor?
- A definite!


6. How about piercings?
- im cool with it. ;)


7. Accepts you for who you are?
- Yes of course.


8. Pink hair?
- awesome generation color!


9. Mushy or no?
- MUSHY!


10. Thin or fat?
- average? hehe.


11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
- lol! hahahaha, i find this question funny.

12. Long hair or short hair?
- preferably long, short might look good too. Different person has a different point of view.


13. Plastic or metal?
- Wtheck is this. lol.


14. Smells good?
- Of course! its quite turning on ;)


15. Smoker?
- Depends, sometimes i dont really fancy kissing ashtrays.


16. Drinker?
- Well if she knows, it's good, if she doesn't, i think its good also some ways.


17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
- cooL!


18. Musically inclined?
- I do hope so.


19. Plays piano?
- swt is all these questions really relevant to the note? so many instruments.


20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
- sexy! knows how to handle the instrument. ;)


21. Plays violin?
- bonus bonus!~


22. Sings very good?
- Er, not a must but its would be nice.


23. Vain?
- Erm. A lil would do.


24. With glasses?
- She might look hot! with or without i dont mind ;)


25. With braces?
- Not an issue for me.

26. Shy type?
- Preferably not. Would rather like a outgoing,friendly and presentable girl. But shyness does have its perks

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
- Hmm, 50-50? lol. not too much of a rebel, u know how some girls run wild. lol.


28. Active or passive?
- ACTIVE!

29. Tight or bomb?
- No idea what this means. Tight.. as in slim den i don't mind. :D bomb as in humongous-ly fat, i don't think so. sry being honest.


30. Singer or dancer?
- Both

31. stunner?
- Yea!~


32. Hip hop?
- hey if she's hip hop, im the king of pop. Rofl.

33. Earrings?
- Not bad. I think its a bonus


34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
- hell no and seriously, needs to know when is the right time to say it. sometimes, talking bout your ex isn't a very nice thing to do. lol.


35. Dimples?
- definitely a bonus ;)


36. Bookworm?
- Well, some knowledge wouldn't hurt.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
- Hmmm i think it is very romantic somehow..


38. Playful?
- *smirks* of course


39. Flirt?
- Why not~ but make sure she knows where she stands.


40. Poem writer?
- well that's romantic ;)

41. Serious?
- Depends on situation.


42. Campus crush?
- hmm, dont think so.


43. Painter?
- er.. I don't think I would mind. LoL.


44. Religious?
- so so ;)


45. Someone who likes to tease people?
- someone who knows their boundaries then why not ;) i like a good sense of humor girl.


46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
- lol both? i'm ok with any.

47. Speaks 20 languages?
- I think it'll be very awkward but its dam cool!


48. Loyal or faithful?
- Both,It's a must. seriously..


49. good kisser
- of course! thats the way it shud be, but if she isn't, why not show it to her the right way? ;)


50. loves children??
- Erm, of course!

It's not really a necessity to have all these criteria, after all nobody's perfect. For me, sometimes it's just whether you could click with that other person. It's all about the chemistry.


And, I've been talking to someone, she's uniquely special in some ways, I find it hard to find a word to describe her. She's sweet, she bakes pretty well ( i guess :P ) but I haven't tried any so I've yet to judge her baking skills, and somehow she always seems to laugh at my lame jokes! It's fun talking to her and let's hope and see how things move on from there, as it is, like a river, we follow the flow. Only hassle is the distance between us.


Well, there's more to go but I'm feeling a little sleepy with all these words written on my blog, like "someone" says it made her eyes tired. HEHE.

Cheers,
Kelvin.