life actually sucks..

my life actually suck like mad..results sucks..parents makin a big fuss out of it..everything i do haf to somehow link to my results..yes im not smart..so wat? i just wan a simple life where i dun really haf to care wat's going on wif this stupid world..parents keep on hitting on the same subject..which is my stupidity, immature, and lazy..among the whole family..within my bro and sis..i do the most housework..clean this clean tat..etc etc..and i dun get any appreciation from it..for wat happen in my past i alreadi know my mistake..trying to change doesnt mean i j ust change without 24hours..this sucks man..somehow i think im just like the black sheep of the family..wateva i do..wateva i say.. parents conclude it wif immature,lazy and stupid..even now my grandparents r like..dun follow ur elder bro's attitude..omg..am i like tat stupid? mayb i am..mayb i am..mayb im slow..retarded..cant think straight..isnt tat wat he said? tat sucks man..seriously sucks..mom always say i always get sick..one after the other..LIKE I WANNA GET SICK!?!@$% ..who wans to b sick..dammit man..i feel so disappointed when i dun haf any family member who actually stood up and support me..honestly i feel so lonely..when it comes to family reunion..cousins come over..uncles n aunts..but somehow i just dun feel..happy..im like fading away..drifting away from this family of mine...i feel totally disappointed wif myself..im in need of love and im totally seeking for attention..cos i ned them..i sound like some kind of desperado..but im in need of it..so..today..mornin totally suck..had an eggtart for breakfast..lunch..ate some fried rice..dinner..ate rice again..oh ya..went dota..not bad..5on5 game..2 rounds..both rounds win again! not bad not bad..winning streak still continues..first match..played techie in battle style..second round..AXE..my fav hero..totally on killing spree..though i kena gb for a few times..still..late game i own like hell! but still i think i wud lose to enigma on 1on1..his stun..totally annoying!! plus his ulti..grrr..2aegis of immortal..LOL..one sange and yasha..one threads..one monkey king bar..wahsai..dam nice..almost wanted to buy heart but not enuff cash..cos i always save cash to buy back..i wasted my first 3 aegis like a noob..total idiot..5 heros i just manage to kill 2 but..totally noob i am..shudnt b too greedy..hehe..i wished my gang was there..irsyad..izat..yi ming..ron..edward..G.. lol..wif them i feel dam comfortable playing dota..hehe..cos its not the matter of winnin or losing..its the fun we share.. ehhe...irsyad and i..our teamwork is like dam nice..though we haf our own way of playing..hehe..oh well..today..is just like any other days..boring..lol..im looking forward for Form 6..im going to prove to my parents tat its not my sister or my bro who can make my family proud..but i am also..mayb not in studies..hehe.. mayb in some other way...somehow..one day..i pray..tat God will bless me and my family..grrr..im so bored now..im gonna bite someone now..mwahaha.. >: )