I always wonder, did that person really cared? Lets say i put "that person" as Sugar. Sugar never really bother talking to me of late. Sugar always gave me hope and told me that somehow, someday if fate brings us together, things might be better. But then again, i ponder over and i ask myself. Kelvin, what have you done to yourself to desevere this? Have you done something that Sugar actually ignored you?
I guess pretty much it's got to be me. Somehow today i texted Sugar, Sugar totally ignored it. Not a sound from Sugar. It's been 2 days since Sugar last talked to me. I wondered how is Sugar. Pretty much one day i walked into Centrepoint Mcd, I saw Sugar there..with someone whom i dislike utmost being so close together doing some work.
My heart shattered pretty badly. I guess I'm pretty much done for. Sugar told me that Sugar's pretty confused. I'm now quite sure what "confused" meant for Sugar. Sugar told me once, that i've already given up.. i don't think Sugar knows what giving up is. Sugar actually thinks i'm going to give up despite all these that's happening. Sugar didn't think that no matter how mean i was, i still care and lover Sugar? Sugar knows i sacrifices alot. Did Sugar do anything about it? I don't think Sugar ever thought of how i felt. I expected so much from Sugar, none actually happened.
I guess there's nothing much else to say. My heart aches in pain every moment i felt something's that amiss. Knowing that tommorow, 21th March, I shall be attending a tournament called Sudden Attack at Time Square. But this time, Sugar isn't there anymore. I hope that i could find the same spirit when Sugar was there last time. When i looked into my WGT pictures, i saw how Sugar stood by me, supporting me no matter whether i win or lose. Sugar once said " You know, whether you win or lose, you're always my winner". Sugar also once said " I should have been there for you. It won't happen again i promise. I will always be by your side...Everytime you're playing. Cause i'm in your heart and your are in mine, always number 1 , Bie. Always number 1. I love you Kelvin. they next time you play, i'll make sure i'm by your side. If not, you can punish me however you like ;) ". Hahaha, the good old days.. Oh well..like i said..Sugar's no longer here anymore for me.. If Sugar shows up tommorow at Time Square, then i shall know that Sugar truly loves me and i will definitely be the happiest guy in the world.Because i sacrificed for her before. I wonder if Sugar will be able to sacrifice for me. I took the afford to walk from 1u to Tropicana City Mall,I wonder if Sugar would take the afford to find me in Time Square.But then again, by the time Sugar realizes this, i doubt Sugar would want to do anything about it. So.. Haih..But Sugar didn't bother to see whether i'm fine or anything. Sugar just left me hanging there.
Last time, when i fought with "someone", Sugar was so worried and left me alone to see "someone" to see how is he. How about now? Did Sugar ever rushed over and ask me,"hey Bie, Are you alright?". I pretty much know that now I'm fighting a losing battle. Cause now here i am fighting to save every bit of this Sugar but Sugar doesn't seem to bother. But have I lost the War? I really don't know. Sugar doesn't know how much pain I'm going through. Even if Sugar knows, Sugar isn't doing anything to ease the pain. Pretty much standing alone.
Well, I hope i don't worry too many fellow friends out there. I know I may look extremely down and sad when you guys accidently mention the word "cat" but i guess thats pretty much how i have to go through life..
I've been training pretty much with my team for Sudden Attack. Although it is still last minute but hey, it is still worth getting ready for. Rm4000 for the first placing! I hope that i will win tommorow. I just had an ACC match too just now. Around 9pm against EG Clan. As usual ESP pulls out a terrific play and won both rounds. End score was 13-6( Esp won in Crash) and 13-2 ( Esp won in Crossfire). Plus i was expecting Sugar to come, as Sugar said Sugar might drop by. I guess Sugar didn't care at all..
I pray Sugar is getting well, and i still miss Sugar alot. Like the name, sweet as always. Too much of it, causes diabetes. Lol! i'm just kidding. What i had with Sugar, was the most beautiful thing ever. But it only went wrong with this "someone" came in. It's like peanut butter and jam. Suits each other but when you add soya sauce inside, urgh. Lol. Sometimes i wish that i could turn back time. To re-adjust what went wrong and make my life beautiful.
Seems like I can't..Why can't Sugar realize Sugar's my other half. Hmm, i guess my other half is ignoring me. No wonder i'm feeling pretty empty. Sigh..and alittle *ouch* to it.I know that i've been pretty grumpy. I'm quite sure that the reason was because of that someone.If it weren't for the "someone" i guess i'll be the happy Nobie boobie.
It still has to come to an end one day, i just pray really hard that Sugar knows what Sugar wants in life. Sugar's a wonderful person. Only just fickle minded. Sugar will turn out just alright. <:) And i really want to win tommorow's competition. Rawr! Rm4000!
~ Sugar sugar~
-heartache Nobie-
They say "True love doesnt have a happy ending: True love doesnt have an ending." I definitely believe it.
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