* undefeated *

Hmmm, I am still wondering am i just being a used toy being played over again or am i really a somebody to her? Spent some time talking to her at her house 2nights ago, really trying to figure out if she would really want me back. I'll change,definitely but would she want to be back with me or she would rather go to that guy...That's the question now..i mean, am i really that bad as a bf? Sigh..But oh well..Today, we have our first promod tournament in Malaysia at Blitzone.

Apparently, Singapore's Top team, JEDI came down to compete too. Today was the qualifying rounds and my team made it thorough. We beat Team eG, and also FFF-Strife-.

Won against eG at Backlot 13-4, Crossfire 13-2.
Won against FFF-Strife- at Crash 13-2, Vacant 13-2.

Not bad for a start. Early in the morning, before Yit Meng ( also known as ESP.Mr.Pikachu ) i started off in a very good mood. Pretty much, i know it sounds silly but i dreamt that i was fragging like mad in Cod4. I know it really does sound funny, but i was like top frag! It's a good omen i told myself.

True enough, when Yit Meng came and pick me up, i told him about it and he just laugh about it. Hahaha, i know i know. But during our match with eG, i was performing pretty well! Well just so you know, for the past one week, i've been playing pretty badly. Not on form at all. But surprisingly today, i had a pretty good mood to start of the competition!

Got an Ace clutch for the final round against eG, awesome way to end my match. We hang out with the JEDI people and some SWL people too. Had a great time, listening to Josh telling us funny+lame stories. Josh really knows how to entertain people.

As for Cathrynn, well we spent some time together today. She came over to visit me during my tournament after her work to show her support. Gosh, is it because she's not my gf and that i notice she became more and more attractive? Must be some hex. lol. Jk.

Had dinner, and she pretty much went off to go and see him. -.- *you know who*. My parents are over in Taipei now. I think it is for the chinese festival thingy. Oh btw, my cousin from Australia came back and his accent, OMG! amazing. I wanna be an aussie now. lol.

Now, i'm sitting down here before i hit my bed, thinking alot of things that is bound to happen to me. Will I be happy if she comes back to me? Definitely, but would she still go out with him? I don't know. If she picks him, because somehow he always seems to be on her good side, like understanding, listens, carefree..so totally opposite of me now as I didn't like her going out with him. But, if she were to pick him, I guess..it is got to be my hair. LOL. Joking again. I guess..pretty much I've not given her what she wants.

Like i wrote before, When a relationship of love is developed, a bond of trust is formed. There is an unspoken agreement that the two of you are committed to each other and that you will not see other people. When one of the members of this sacred bond choose to be intimate with another person, they are not only cheating their lover but they are cheating themselves as well. They are breaking their own bond of trust. In most situations, when a person cheats, it is not because of affection for a new lover. Rather, he/she may be searching for what is missing in his/her present relationship.

Somehow, I really hope she sees what my heart is telling her. If only she knew.

I want to take the first step. But how?