* I just want Sugar! *

I just want to Sugar to know..i still need Sugar. Sugar goes out with him for so long, God knows what Sugar's doing with him.. :( I just wanted to hold Sugar in my arms and never let her go.

Sugar says they're not together. Seems like they're like together. Spending the whole day together.. Sigh..I feel so empty..

I saw Sugar today, she came all the way to Time Square today just to see me. Or perhaps just because Chia Hao called Sugar. But Sugar said it was just coincidental that what i wrote in my blog and so happened Sugar came. I thought it was really true love and fate already once Sugar appeared right in front of me. But what makes me feel worst was that "he" was there with Sugar.

*Ouch* My heart tore again and it bleeds worst. I long to hug her, kiss her and hold on to her forever. I'm now really confused..Sometimes i feel so helpless. Like i could not do anything to please her. When she's hungry, last night i was pretty much sure Sean bought some food for her. Well i couldn't. Not because i can't, but it was just because i got lack of money. 'He' could buy her expansive stuffs, expansive food like McD and Sushi everyday. Her favs. 'He' knows how i am not able to provide all those for her so he used it to his advantage. Pretty much i told him how my financial issues were and yea, seems like he's using it to his advantage.

Sometimes now I think "he" is trying so hard to get her and she's really giving him a chance. Sometimes i feel beyond hope. Like i am uncapable of accomplishing so many things. Am i such a bad person? I wanted her to know that I'm still the same old romantic Kelvin who is willing to sacrifice anything for her. But seems like "he" is pretty much trying to do everything that i wanted to, seems like there's nothing much for me to do.

However, then again if somehow there will be a slightest chance that i could win her heart, then i shall fight for this. I know, that when there's a will, there's a way. Definitely there is. Lets see if she really gives me the opportunity like how we used to have things before.

I'm longing for the warmth she gave me before, her kiss and her hugs. Her passionate love.

If only she knew i needed that.. ;)